


Fireboy and Watergirl

by brookwrites



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Comedy, Fireboy!Dan, Lady Door, M/M, Watergirl!Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 05:17:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14098068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookwrites/pseuds/brookwrites
Summary: Dan and Phil swore they’d never play Fireboy and Watergirl on the gaming channel again, but when someone sent them a link to a “much more realistic” version of the game, they couldn’t help but give it a try.





	Fireboy and Watergirl

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic I wrote for the phanfichallenge on Tumblr :) This challenge requires use of one or more of the four elements, (water, air, fire, and earth) and I decided there was no better way to do so than with a whole lotta lady door. Enjoy the product of me questioning the logic and universe of Fireboy and Watergirl a solid five times.

“Hey Dan!” Phil called to his boyfriend from the couch, where he sat with his laptop. 

“What?” 

“You wanna make some more lady door references?”

Dan emerged from the kitchen, worry apparent on his face. “Phil, I swear, if this is some new kink of yours-”

“No! Hell no. just look at this.” Phil turned the laptop to Dan as he plopped down in his sofa crease. 

Dan knew Phil had recently tweeted something funny and relatable about a flu shot, (of course he did; he’d had Phil on notifications for years) so he wasn’t surprised when he found himself looking at a reply.

hey phil! i know u guys said u didn’t wanna play any more fireboy and watergirl, but this version i found is more realistic and really immersive. i think u should give it a try! 

Dan scanned the tweet again, noting that it had no likes or replies, the account name was lady door, and the @ was morefireboyandwatergirlpls.

“I don’t know,” Dan said, giving it a bit of a glare. “It seems kinda suspicious.” 

“Come on! Can we at least give it a try?” Phil was giving him that look, the iconic one with the puppy dog eyes and the pouty lip, the one that Dan couldn’t refuse.

“Ugh, fine. Might as well get this over with.”

“Dan, it’s 10:00.” 

“Oh well. It’s not like we’ve ever been ones to sleep at a decent time.” 

Phil couldn’t argue that, so off they went to the gaming room and sat down in their chairs, quickly setting up their recording equipment and typing in the link on the tweet. Finally, they sat down ready to record.

“Hello, Dan and Phil Games Lady Doors!” 

“Fucking hell!” Dan screamed, the noise greeted by Phil’s chuckling. “The other Fireboy and Watergirl videos you said elementals, but now you whip out lady doors? I’m disappointed.”

“Well, in case you haven’t guessed, we’re playing Fireboy and Watergirl again!” 

“Even though we weren’t going to-”

“@morefireboyandwatergirlpls on Twitter sent me a link to a ‘much more realistic’ version, so we’re gonna try it out!”

They clicked start on the monitor and settled their fingers on the keyboard. Phil clicked the first level, and they simply stared at it for a moment. “This literally looks exactly the same,” Dan finally said.

“Maybe something cool will happen! Come on, let’s try moving.” Phil pushed the right arrow key, and Watergirl moved forward, beginning the level. Dan sighed and pushed his own arrow key, moving Fireboy forward.

Suddenly, Dan started burning up, as if his entire body was about to burst into flames. “Is it hot in here?” He turned from his monitor to Phil and gasped at what he saw. “Holy shit, Phil, you’re melting!”

“What?” Phil looked at his hands and was horrified to find that they were turning blue, and appeared to be liquidizing. As Dan said, it was almost as if they were melting. He looked over to Dan, and his eyes went wider than Dan had ever seen them. “You’re on fire!” 

Dan looked at his hands, and he found that they were, quite literally, on fire. “Wow. I’m not even in pain; this is just really annoying.” He looked back up at Phil, but there was no one there. Phil had simply disappeared. “What the-”

Dan’s phrase was cut off as suddenly everything went black. He felt as if he was falling through an endless void, unable to move or even scream. After a few seconds, he fell hard on what seemed to be rock. “Ow.” He stood up, expecting his tall head to hit the low ceiling of the dimly lit cave he found himself in. However, it seemed as if he had suddenly shrunk a foot and a half, and he wasn’t even five feet tall. It was like he was ten years old again. 

He looked around the cave, and it was almost dark enough that he could barely see. It seemed like a good portion of the light was coming from... himself? Dan looked down at his body to find it engulfed in flames, although he didn’t even notice it. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he muttered to himself.

To his right was a dark wall, and to his left was a pit of flames with a red gem over top of it. Past that was the same pit, but of water, and with a blue gem over top of it. There appeared to be floating words in that direction as well; Dan deducted that they were the instructions for the tutorial. The ceiling above him appeared to give way a few feet from him and open up to a ceiling about twice as tall. In front of him was his own computer monitor, a screen to their empty chairs back in the gaming room. To his tiny character, they seemed huge. “Phil?” 

“Dan?” 

“Are you above me?” 

“Yeah!” 

“Come down here!” 

Phil dangled his short, blue legs over the ledge and hopped down, landing rough. “You’re never going to survive this game if you can’t jump off the first ledge.”

“What do you mean survive? What are we doing here?” 

“Well, Phil, Mr. ‘Let’s Click The Suspicious Link’, I assume we’re stuck here until we beat the entire game.” 

“Oh...” Phil trailed off.”

“Yeah. It’s 11:00 at night and we have to beat this entire game to get back home. Are you happy with yourself?” 

“Not really.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

There was a bit of an awkward silence where neither of the two wanted to speak, but eventually Dan decided they had to get going. “Come on, you spork,” Dan said, grabbing Phil’s arm.

“How is it that we can touch, but I can’t touch the fire and you can’t touch the water?” 

“Let’s not think about it too much.” 

They reached the pit of fire, and Dan turned to Phil. “You’ve gotta jump.”

“I’m scared!”

“Phil, it’s literally like two feet.” 

“But I’m-”

“Just do it.” 

Phil groaned, took a deep breath, and jumped the puddle. “Hey, I made it!” he exclaimed, overly excited for his victory. Dan strolled across the puddle to meet Phil on the other side, and they continued on walking.

“Hey, great job. I”m proud of- Aaa!” 

Dan suddenly blacked out, and he was right back where he first woke up. “What happened?”

“You walked straight into the water, you idiot!” 

“Oh...” Dan trailed off. “Well, at least now we know we can die!” 

“Let’s just go again.” 

That time they both cleared their puddles, but they were then greeted by a wall. “How the hell are we supposed to get up these?” Dan yelled.

“Jump, how do you think?” 

Phil jumped up, his feet getting his entire Watergirl height off the ground as he landed on the platform. “Wow. I never realized how unrealistic that was until now,” Dan said, jumping himself up beside Phil. They jumped together onto the next platform, and each of them managed to clear the puddle of mud beside them. Dan then walked straight through the lever, turning it to move the levitating platform down, and simply continued walking. If he knew anything about Fireboy and Watergirl, it was to just keep walking. You’d get through it faster that way. Suddenly, immense pressure fell on his head, and he couldn’t move. “Hey! Did the internet crash or something?” 

“No, Dan,” Phil sighed. “You walked under the platform.” 

“Get me out of here!” 

“I’m go-”

“Fuck fucking fuck fuck-”

“Dan!” Phil yelled, flipping the switch and releasing him.

“Sorry. You can’t blame me though. It’s not like I planned to get trapped in a video game tonight.” 

“Well soooooorry,” Phil drew out, rolling his eyes. “Let’s just get up to the next platform.” 

They each jumped on the now properly lowered platform and up to the next one. “Go ahead, Phil. Ladies first,” Dan said, panting as he held the button down for the next platform of the tutorial.

“Didn’t you make that joke last time?” 

“Yeah, but now it’s just because I’m tired. If all these video game characters are real, I think I’m going to find a new hobby; I can’t make tiny people do this much physical activity without feeling guilty.”

“Hey, Mario and Luigi are probably ripped by now. A difficult life, but a good one.”

Dan chuckled as Phil went forward, stepping onto the purple platform. “Ready!” 

Dan walked off of the button, letting the platform rise and catching up to it, waiting for Phil to push the button for him. He saw Phil’s blue legs move off the platform and onto the rock above him, and within a matter of seconds he heard the platform begin to crunch against the wall again as it moved down. 

Dan’s impatience drove him to jump early, which was likely a bad idea, as he lost his balance immediately upon hitting the platform and fell on his flaming ass, but all that brought him was laughter from Phil. “Shut up,” he said, wiping his clothes off. 

It wasn’t until then that he noticed he actually was wearing clothes; they were the same red as his flames, so they completely blended in, but it was nice to know that the tiny characters weren’t just roaming the caves naked all the time. 

“You ever think about how Fireboy should probably be orange, not red?” 

“As you said earlier, let’s not think about it too much.”

They walked forward and reached the metal box Dan knew the level well enough to know they had to push forward and off the ledge where it would fall a few feet below them. “Together?” 

“Together.” 

Each of them put all their force into the box, and Dan was surprised to find how heavy it was. He could hear the metal grinding against the rock below, which only made the task feel more arduous. It finally fell off the cliff, and Dan and Phil were panting as they jumped down themselves. “Again?” Dan asked.

“Dan, you’ve played this game countless times. We both know we have to do it again.” 

Dan sighed, rolling his eyes as they each put all their weight into pushing the box forward until finally it reached the far wall. Each of them climbed up onto the box and hopped up to the next platform, Phil adding an extra jump to get the blue gem overhead. 

“That’s a far jump,” Dan said, staring at the chasm in front of him. It was definitely the hardest jump he’d seen yet; it was both a large gap and an upward rise. “I don’t know if I can make that.”

“Nonsense,” Phil said, clearing the gap effortlessly. “We’ve got unrealistic jumping abilities, remember?” 

“I don’t know, Phil.”

“Come on!” 

Dan closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them and leaping across the abyss, barely landing one foot on the platform above and falling flat on his flaming face. “Ugh,” Dan groaned as Phil chuckled above him. “Shut up.” 

“Let’s go; we’re almost there.”

“I don’t wanna. I’m exhausted and humiliated.” 

“Dan, the doors are literally ten feet away. Please?” 

“No,” he said, falling into existential crisis position on the cold rock. He noted it definitely wasn’t the most comfortable place for a crisis; it was much too dirty and damp. 

“Ugh,” Phil sighed, grabbing Dan’s arm and dragging him across the ground.

“Hey!” he yelled, his knees scraping across the ground. He pulled himself up despite his exhaustion and wiped himself off. He couldn’t really tell if his knees were bleeding; the blood would be just as red as the rest of his body. “If those scrapes end up on my human body when we get back, I’m gonna kick your ass.” Phil simply laughed at him for what was probably the third or fourth time in that endeavor. 

Dan took his place in front of his door, the stone with the red male symbol creaking up into the ceiling. “Get in front of your lady door, Phil,” Dan said, taking his turn to laugh. “Wait,” he said, causing Phil to turn around before he took his place in front of the door. “If you actually turned into Watergirl, does that mean you’ve got a lady door now?” 

Phil’s eyes went wide, and he cringed, the realization seeming to be hitting him. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

Dan giggled like a schoolgirl as Phil stepped in front of the door, allowing it to disappear into the ceiling as they each stepped forward. They expected to find themselves in the next level, but instead they ended up in a completely black void. It seemed to be well lit, although they couldn’t find any source of light; they could just see somehow. In front of them appeared words in the same font as the tutorial instructions they’d been ignoring throughout the entire level and two doors, one to their left and one to their right. Each of them read in silence. 

Welcome to the real Fireboy and Watergirl experience! Hopefully you’ve been enjoying yourselves thus far. Now, so as to not be an asshole, I’m gonna give you a choice. If you hate this with every fiber of your being and want to get out, that’s an option; just take the door on your left. You’ll be transported back out of the monitor and back to your human bodies. If you’re having fun, take the door to the right and you can play the rest of the game. However, if you continue, you can’t leave until you’ve finished. Sorry; haven’t quite figured out that programming yet. Have fun!

Dan rolled his eyes, turning to Phil. “Ready to leave this magical hell?” 

“Oh, come on!” Phil said, his multicolored eyes shining with childish glee in the unexplainable light. 

“Phil, it’s gotta be almost midnight, we’re lazy and out of shape, and I’m hungry.” 

Phil took a moment to ponder that. “Now that I think about it, I’m pretty hungry too. Let’s go.” 

They each walked towards the left hand door, Dan opening it for Phil. “Ladies first,” he said, grinning as Phil softly punched him before walking through. Dan followed, and the door closed behind them, the ground suddenly disappearing out from under them. A small scream escaped from Dan’s mouth, but he barely had time to fear the fall, because he was almost immediately back in his gaming chair. 

He looked to his left, and Phil was there beside him, his hair back in its perfect quiff, and his skin back to its pale white. He glanced to the monitor. “I don’t see any signs of the recording cutting out. You know, we could upload that entire experience.” 

“Nobody would believe it.”

“They will if we link it.” 

Dan could tell Phil knew he was right, but he gave him an off look nonetheless. “I don’t know... I feel like this is some weird magic we shouldn’t release into the world. It’s like we’re muggles finding out about Hogwarts.” 

Dan sighed. Phil was right; they probably shouldn’t post that if they didn’t want their entire memories erased by men in suits breaking into their flat at 3am. “Our little secret?”   
Phil smiled at his response. “Our little secret.”


End file.
